Boooooring week

Some weeks nothing happens. Well nothing besides work and sleep. This has been one of those weeks. More fun things to come I promise.

I Didn't Know Squash Was A Fish

                      

                  The great joy of working with the public is that at the end of the day we all get together and compare notes. Sometimes you are yelled at, or hit on, or just ignored all day. But by far the best thing is when someone says something ridiculous. I had just such a moment yesterday.
                     

       I work at the seafood counter. So all of our fish are nicely laid out on trays with little signs in front of them stating what they each are and color coded to tell you if they are organic, farm raised, or wild. Very simple stuff. Well recently we have written on our case windows that we recommend summer squash blend. The sign was in front of a tray with flounder on it. One of my customers proceeds to look at the case and announce very loudly "I didn't know squash was a fish."

       I looked at her as blankly as possible and said "It's not." I then had to explain to her that we were simply recommending it as a possible side to your meal. She then walked away and I know my face was no longer blank.  Really? REALLY? Do you not know what squash is? Do you not know what fish is? I was dumbfounded. Everyone else at the counter just looked at me as if to say "Did that just happen?" Yes, yes that just happened.


     As a member of the public service force I beg you please think before you speak. While you help bring entertainment to our lives you also are the main cause of aspirin consumption.

           Now you may be saying "Aliya, that's mean." Well let me tell you I used to think that way. And then almost 7 years have gone by where I have worked in retail. You learn that sometimes it's the only way to get through the day without killing someone. I have many similar stories from my friends. A friend of mine was demoing some vegetable corn chowder. A customer asked what was in it. So she rattles off the ingredients which included eggplant. The customer then says she is allergic and can't have any. "You're allergic to eggplant? I'm allergic to eggs. Oh, then you can have some. No, I know that eggplant is where eggs come from." I believe this was followed with a very similar face to my own. So in the epic debate of What came first the chicken or the egg? The answer is really neither, the eggplant came first.

Eggplants Make Eggs

      

           Another favorite of mine is when a customer asked for live lobster tails. We explained that we had live lobsters and frozen lobster tails but no live lobster tails. She got upset and stormed off. How could we possibly have live lobster tails without the rest of the lobster?????

           

    Even the fish look shocked

                  So yes, when you say something or do something stupid at the store we see you. Sometimes you think we aren't paying attention, but we are. We are trained to pay attention without being obvious so that you don't feel pressured to buy anything but at the moment right when you have decided what you want we are at your side ready to serve you. Next time I am taking care of you and you say something silly I will simply smile and continue to do my job but I won't forget.

My Advisary

The Wild Ginger!

        

               Some relationships are very supportive and loving and seem like they come right out of a movie...... and then there's mine. Don't get me wrong, we love each other and support each other but not in the traditional way. We make fun of each other, constantly. Not anything too mean. However, most people just don't get it.You usually dont hear couples calling each other dick bags lovingly. We will start our banter and people either think we are hysterical or annoying.

            

       Sometimes I believe our sole purpose in life is to annoy the crap out of each other. Even now as I type he is hovering, chirping in my ear while I am trying to gather my thoughts. ANNOYING. Then again I do enjoy laying in bed at night in the dark and saying "Redrum" in a hoarse whisper. Creeps him out.

           

           The point of explaining our mutual pestering is to help explain what happened last Friday. We had decided to see "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter."  I smuggled in my bottle of water and was content........... or so I thought. Ryan decides to get popcorn, smothered in butter and a pop. He then asks me to hold the popcorn. Our theater was being cleaned when we arrived so we had to wait outside. I ended up literally swaying back and forth like a crazy person using all of my willpower to not eat the concentrated evil that was in my hand. Yes, you heard me correctly. Concentrated Evil!


                                                                                                         Concentrated Evil

           I Love popcorn! Especially dripping with butter. Well whatever liquid chemical that the movie theater calls butter. It is delicious. And if you can't finish it all stale movie theater popcorn is even better! So here I am looking like a lunatic because I want this popcorn but I refuse to eat it and lose any points for snacking. Ryan of course refuses to take the bag from me and thinks it's hysterical. I can see other movie goers watching me questioningly. Finally I just yelled at him and he took the bag. You will be glad to hear that I did not eat one little puffed kernel. Even when I yawned and he tried to throw a piece into my mouth. Potential choking hazard? Probably. But pretty damn funny.

         
       So this makes it sound like he wants me to fail. Let me explain. He wants me to succeed. He just wants to challenge me. Sometimes I'm ready to kill him for it. Then again, I work in the greatest grocery store on the planet. I could snack all day long on all kinds of bad things. Ryan coming home and placing donuts or a pizza box in front of me may challenge my will power but then when I'm at work the parade of savory, sugary, cheesey, and other descriptive words ending in Y that would no doubt expand my waistline food doesn't bother me.

       

         Now I know that is not his intention. He just wants to drive me nuts and laugh. It has kind of backfired though. It is now getting more and more difficult to get me rocking like I belong in a home. This will most certainly pour fuel on the fire to our little war. I wouldn't have it any other way. There are two quotes that instantly come to mind when I think of our relationship.

I Already Have It

      First is from "The Notebook"."Well, that's what we do. We fight. You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass. Which you are 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. They have like a two second rebound rate and you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing. So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. And we're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that, because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day"  Yup, that sums us up nicely. Actually we saw that movie in the theater ( we're movie people, can you tell?) and we were 16 and had broken up for reasons beyond our control and desperatley wanted to be together. We decided to say Fuck The World and be together anyway.
       

                                                                                                        

The other one is from Doctor Seuss.Just to the left there.We are weird. We talk about kiwi birds constantly and have a stuffed animal dog named Rufus that has a longer and more awesome back story than even Chuck Norris himself ( Impossible you say? Some day you will learn about Rufus). I say I hate you at least once a day. It actually means I love you but you are doing something to provoke me. He is a red head as you can see and I call him a Ginger and tell him that he suffers from a fatal case of gingervitis. He is actually a red headed step child and I love to remind him that being a ginger is a genetic mutation. Mean? Maybe, but the line that we have is different than other couples. We laugh more than most couples. They look on appalled as we bicker and aren't mad at all. It's all just a part of our mutual weirdness. <3

Our very first picture age 16

You Are Not A Dog.

Well, most of us aren't

              How many times have I said "hmmmm. I did well this week. I think I'm going to eat something bad as a reward." Too many times. Then I saw something on Pinterest. ( Yes I am one of those women that will be on there for hours, don't judge) It said  " DON'T REWARD YOURSELF WITH FOOD, YOU ARE NOT A DOG." It was as if a light bulb went off. Something so simple and obvious and yet I had not grasped it until it was right in front of my face.
                   

            Now food and I have a lovely relationship. I love it. It loves me back in all the wrong places. I used to have no problem with going to patisserie ( the part of bakery where they make all the super sweet desserts) and getting a piece of cheese cake when i was having a bad day. And now they even have a brownie cheese cake. I could talk about the wonders of food for hours. How it makes us feel better and how something warm and carb-full like mac and cheese or mashed potatoes are better than a hug on some days. But guess what? It doesnt really help.
                 

            I know I am an emotional eater. I'm okay with it. I just control it. Easier said than done, I know, but once I realized it, it was much easier to not buy that piece of cake. It was the same thing with rewarding myself with food. If I had a great workout I would be bad and eat something I know I probably shouldn't and it would completely cancel out my workout if not do more damage. Now I know better.
              

            So what do I reward myself with? It helps to have rewards and goals. Well with the game my reward is a prize. We picked that the winners get bought a gift card to where ever they want from the losing team. I picked Sephora. I plan on crushing the competition and stacking up many gift cards and go on a little shopping spree ( insert evil laugh). But besides that I pick other things. My most recent reward was to get a nape piercing. A what? you say. Well the nape is the back of the neck. Yes I can hear your fascination and disgust all at once. It's not that bad.
              

             I just so happen to be a tattooed and pierced chick with the attitude to match, when I want it to anyway. So when it came to what I was going to choose as a prize to myself I thought about something I wanted that wasn't food and that was actually attainable. My nape came to mind. So I made a deal with myself. If in one week I could get my weight back into pre-vacation range then I would get it done. Well you better believe that one week later I was back to my pre-vacation range.

My fresh new additions. A little Frankenstein or so I'm told

     
      I know, it isn't for everyone. But find something that works for you. Whether its a manicure or some alone time or whatever. Feel free to Reward yourself just don't make it seem like you're Lassie when you do.

Too Much Booty In The Pants

Baby Got Back

                Too much booty in the pants is something that my boyfriend Ryan loves to say. He says it whenever we see any one who has a huge ass and pants that just don't seem to be containing it. This is the kind of ass that would have Sir-Mix-A-Lot salivating. He says it almost singing and every time we laugh.
                

               This much loved phrase of his came to mind yesterday as I was running on my treadmill and suddenly not only where my shorts not staying up properly but my underwear as well was starting to slip a little. I had never had that happen to me before. The shorts, I was used to. As I had been losing weight I had to roll the top of my shorts down to keep them from falling. It was a great feeling the first day I had to do it. But my underwear? Not so much. All I could think was thank God I didn't run outside or at a gym to have everyone starring at me as im constantly pulling my underwear up from sliding off my ass while trying to keep running. I could only imagine the humiliation I would have felt and I do not get embarassed easily.
              

                It was this small slip of clothing that made me remember 10 months ago when I could barely walk on my treadmill for half of one of the preprogrammed workout. I now do at least 3 or 4 of those workouts a week with some Yoga sprinkled in on the days I don't run. Last September I never would have imagined how far I have come in such a small amount of time. Now I not only make it though the entire workout but i RUN! How the fuck did that happen?
              

               I had a moment where i said just do it. Just make time for it. And now I do. It's a part of my schedule almost every day and I don't have a second thought about it. I no longer have to coax myself into getting off the couch and running. I just do it.
             

               Who knew that my underwear falling would mean so much? I guess it's time to convince Ry to take me to Victoria's Secret.

Can you say shopping spree?       

                                                         

So what's this game?

 The game that changed everything

        If you just so happened to read my little bio then you know that the main theme of this whole thing is Game On. Well what the hell is it? It's a book written by Kristen Vernoff, head writer on Grey's Anatomy, and Az Ferguson, winner of Body for life's million dollar challenge.Here's the boring part, the explanation.
       
 Look at him, seriously how can you not trust him?
     It is all about how Kristen had a baby and was having trouble losing the  weight. So she turned to her good friend Az and he gave her a plan to follow. She didn't. Then he challenged her to a game. In the game you earn points for good behaviors and lose points for bad ones. It's all about percentage of weight loss not pounds so it levels the playing field. It was basically the plan he gave her at the beginning but with the element of competition sprinkled in. 

                     

         You have to drink 3 liters of water a day (constantly peeing at first), get 7 hours of sleep a night, eat 5 meals a day each with a healthy fat protein and carb, take on a good habit and lose a bad one,exercise 20 minutes a day, and communicate with one person on your team and one person from the opposite team everyday. There is NO snacking between meals and a whole list of things you cannot eat anymore. I know it sounds tough but there is a meal off and a day off for each of the rules. It allows you to have flexibility and not just give up because it is too rigid.

         

          

          I know now you are ready to cry and stamp your feet and tell me it's too hard you can't do it. Well first of all once you get started it's not as difficult as it seems. Second of all SUCK IT UP. That's what I told myself and that's what I'm telling you if you are thinking of losing weight. We didn't get to this point by accident and it's going to take a lot of work to undo it.

           

          Great news is it works. It really and truly works. The creators themselves look great and I look better and feel better after having played. I lost 10 pounds by playing the first time and have just started my second round. If you don't have any weight to lose but what to play and be healthy you can set a fitness goal instead.

           So that's the dealio. I now follow this plan and feel amazing. I am up to 4.5 liters of water a day usually. it's surprising how it seemed impossible at first and now its second nature. 

 

                 

                          Before the game

                                                             

                         After the game!

                                  

 

Peanut Butter what?

        I know, the name. How on earth could I name my blog something like that?  Well as i was sitting here on my couch, in my pajamas trying to think of something witty and that would define me as a person this is the first thing that popped into my head.

       Now you know there is a story behind it or I would  be slightly insane to think " hmmmm what a great idea  for a blog" without a story. One day (at band camp) my mom was telling me something that had happened at work. Now my dad always says that im just the slightly meaner version of my mom.  She was telling me about how she was being educated on a proper snack for the kids she works with. With allergies always being a concern she was being told that it can't have peanut butter. This my mother knows. She has worked with children for over 15 years. So I then burst out with " yea, I was thinking of bringing them peanut butter bee sting sandwiches" I don't think we stopped laughing for 10 minutes.

        So as you can see this sarcastic yet light hearted statement sums me up perfectly. What better way to start out this revelation of the soul than with putting it all out there? I hope you are all ready because i certainly am.

       

The ever deadly peanut butter bees